I want to talk to the ladies in the audience today. I’m (unfortunately) hitting that age where women are tempted to ask me this type of question, assuming I know something about what older men think.
That doesn’t do the ego any good, but I suppose it qualifies me to answer this question.
To start with, let’s get the basics out of the way. Flirt with an older man in much the same way you would with a younger man: smile, seem interested in him (ask questions), use subtle body language to send him the right signals, and maintain eye contact. Those are the basic flirting techniques most women know anyway, but they bear a mention in passing.
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Flirting with Older Guys
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s discuss the flirtation tips specific to older guys. Not all men are the same in any age class, so there’s going to be some deviation. Play it by ear, but start out with the following strategy for how to flirt with the graying man in the room.
Body Language Is Key
On the body language, you might be a little more subtle at first. If you go over the top and are too clingy, he’s likely to see you like he would an affectionate daughter–just a little girl who needs some loving from daddy. Don’t grab his arm, but stroke his elbow occasionally when you make a point.
Don’t avoid body language or contact altogether, though. One reason attractive older men and the youthful women attracted to them don’t get together more is that the guy naturally assumes she is interested in the young stud across the room who’s 20 years younger. So you do need to send the signal you are interested, and the idea of touching him does not turn your stomach.
Here’s other advice for flirting with the old guys.
Acknowledge the Age Difference
Don’t beat around the bush or pretend it’s something different. Both of you have a pretty good idea what the age gap is, and you’re both thinking of it on some level. Address it and then move on. If he’s cool with an age difference, then it’s out of the way. If he prefers a woman closer to his age, it wouldn’t have worked anyway.
Don’t Fake It – Knowledge Isn’t Intelligence
Don’t overcompensate by pretending to know about things that were a little before your time. He doesn’t expect you to have a grasp of life in the 70s or 80s, so to pretend to know things you don’t know about, he’ll notice and be insulted (or wonder why the heck a person fakes it). Don’t be self-conscious that he has more life experience. Ask questions, instead of agreeing with everything he says.
With Age Comes Wisdom
This isn’t always the case, but it’s a good assumption to go on until you learn better. Ask him for advice, based on his greater experiences in life. Take the advice (on less important stuff at first) and see how it works for you. He’ll be flattered you’re doing so.
Don’t Get Overconfident
Some men prefer a mature woman, so don’t just assume you’re youth is going to make you more attractive than other, older women he knows. Women his age can relate to him in ways you won’t always be able to, and some guys become more interested in companionship and conversation skills than physical perfection (though both are nice) after a certain age.
Don’t Assume He’s Got Money
The older people get, the more money they tend to make, based on experience, skills, and time spent at a company. It’s natural to assume this man makes more money than you, but then, it’s also natural to assume he has more bills and expenses. Consider that he probably has a home and a car or two, and that he probably has an ex-wife and children from a first marriage he’s paying, as well. This is a double-edged sword.
Be Yourself – Be Genuine
The best advice in these situations is to be yourself. One advantage of getting a little older and gaining some perspective on life is you tend to be more comfortable in your own skin. That is, you know yourself and who you are, and you come to grips with the realities of life and, especially, your life. Being yourself shows that you have an uncommon maturity for someone your age.
Younger people tend to be more insecure, and they often play games as a self-defense mechanism to protect their less mature ego. So drop the games, talk to him like a woman talks to a man, and see what happens.